After losing my father while serving at sea, I discovered how overwhelming grief and end-of-life decisions can be. Memorial Merits was born to give families clarity, comfort, and trusted resources when they need them most.

I wanted to share something very personal with you, and the reason Memorial Merits came to be.

I live here in Virginia, as a service member in the U.S. Navy.  Before going out to sea in 2019, my father, Monte, just had a triple bypass surgery done.  He woke from the surgery, said he didn’t feel well, but the doctors said he was recovering just fine.  

As we started floating away from port, I was able to get once last video call with him before losing signal.  I hadn’t seen him in a couple years, but we spoke almost every day over the phone.  I had promised him, I’d come to see him on his birthday in a few months… The I told him “I love you” and hung up the phone.

I didn’t know that would be the last words I would ever get to say to him…

Long story short, he aspirated while I was out at sea and passed away.  Finding out was one of the worst days of my life, and hurts still to do this day.

Due to operational commitment, I was not allowed to get flown off the ship, and had to wait until we pulled back into port.  I was alone, with no privacy, no familiar comfort, and a ship full of 3,000+ sailors, with no place to process all the pain I was feeling for days on end. Work had to get done and that’s part of the job. When we pulled in, I immediately took the first flight I could to Spokane, met with family, and buried my father.

I learned very quickly how difficult decision making was, much less caring about work, planning, etc. when dealing with immense grief.  Everything felt rushed… I felt the weight of what forever meant.. the decisions made were out of guilt… prices were outrageous… and understanding the legalities and options were confusing.

That’s Why I Created Memorial Merits. 

A hub where not only you can find answers, plan ahead, and gain valuable insight, but also a place where you aren’t guilted in spending more, equating cost with love.  I wanted to create a space with all the answers, best prices and resources to help you through all stages of the end-of-life process, from legacy & estate planning, funeral arrangements, to the grief experienced after it’s all over.

As Memorial Merits, which started as a simple blog and few partnerships, grew, I began to experience time and time again those I love the most experiencing loss, and having to navigate through the all the hardships, unclear information and over-priced options, while also dealing with, or setting aside, their own deepest grief.

But Memorial Merits Was Just the Start

What went from a 10-page blog, over time turned into an entire eco-system, with over 300 pages, and partnerships with some of the best, most affordable, and highest quality products and services available. Even our Legacy Journal – Should Tomorrow Never Come was built from it’s own story of loss and the need to protect those I love, while being able to share words, that otherwise may never be said. But that is a story for another time.

What came from loss, the foundation of something great was built to help others…

Thanks for listening to my story and how Memorial Merits came to be.

Warmest Regards,

Gabriel A. Killian
Founder, Memorial Merits
Honoring Life and Legacy

PS. Please, should you feel the need, share in the comments your own story or experience with loss. Also feel free to create your own digital memorial or obituary with our free online obituary & memorial submission. It’s your space for memorialization, remembrance & expressing heartfelt grief, and always free. Each and every day I still miss my father, but I feel he would be proud of what was left behind, this too, is part of his legacy.

Author: Gabriel Killian

Founder, Memorial Merits U.S. Navy Service Member Gabriel created Memorial Merits after experiencing funeral industry complexities & exploitation firsthand when his father passed away unexpectedly in 2019. His mission: protect families from predatory practices and provide clear guidance during impossible times. [Read Full Story →] EXPERTISE: • Personal experience with loss • Funeral planning (multiple times) • AI grief support development • Published author (legacy planning)